I did an interview a while back in which I was asked how I decompress and remain creative. My answer at the time was "meditation". True, I indeed meditate every day, and keep my balance by simply retrieving into my safe cave, meditate in complete silence and recharge.
On tour, however, things have a way of getting out of control pretty fast. The simple fact of not having driven a car in over a month is one of those small, but very significant indicators of your life being driven by forces out of your control. Every day, I don't know if there is food I can eat (I'm a vegetarian), what the venue looks like, or if my camera, usually covered in cornstarch, will function properly. So, I do what I can, what is under my control, to always be prepared with snagging extra fruit from the previous venue, clean my gear every day, and figure out how to shoot the show when I see the venue. Easy. Right? Well, not quite.
You see, every once in a while you have to check your ego and put it in its place. I realized yesterday I was feeling annoyed about the stage being too tall, and the lights being too hot, and the road being too bumpy, and the phases of the moon and... you get the picture... What was really happening, ego was creeping its ugly head. I learned a long time ago that for me, to stay creative, I need to be in a state of gratitude and wonder. I am blessed to live this life, to call the people around me friends, to build solid business relationships, to travel, to listen to great music, to be surrounded by the best in the business every day. Ego was about to hinder my creativity and needed to be bitch-slapped, and given a big slice of humble pie. How? I asked myself to go into the evening's gig thinking it would be my last. How would I feel? What would I want people to see? How could I showcase the talent around me so everyone would shine his light as bright as possible? I'm tearing up again just at the thought. My last? Why not my first? Because with a "first", you expect many more, and what you don't catch, you assume you will catch another time. With a "last" you appreciate everything and you work your ass off. Everything has a different meaning, when you see it with those eyes.
After the show, I closed my eyes and felt completely connected, on purpose. Button reset.
Here are some images from last night. I'm editing today, and, although not my favorite thing to do, I'm smiling and feeling grateful.
