Wyoming

Back in the day, before Boulder, Colorado, East Coast and back to Colorado, I lived in Wyoming.  Cheyenne, to be exact.  At the time I didn't appreciate it as I do now.  I pretty much hated it, actually.  That's a strong word, hate.  I rarely use it anymore, but I was very young, liberal, craving the music scene and feeling trapped in a small city that didn't allow me to express my creativity.  I made myself miserable in such a beautiful, wonderous State.  

One day, I moved to Boulder on a whim, it was where I always wanted to be and live.  I loved the landscape, the people and swore I'd never go back to Wyoming unless forced to.  That was over two decades ago. 

In 2018 I went through many changes, and realized I needed to go back where I found my anger.  I am not an angry person, not at all, but boy, did I ever feel it in Wyoming.  As blissful as I feel in Colorado or New Mexico, I felt just as tense and miserable in Wyoming.  Why?  What was there that triggered all that anger?  Would it come back?  Did I ever really deal with it?  I needed to go back and find out. 

I went back, in Granite, between Laramie and Cheyenne, some of the land I knew best back then.  I got lost, I didn't recognize these roads anymore.  GPS was useless.  So I just allowed the time to get lost and explore, and ended up on the ranch.  It greeted me after one of the big hills, solid, welcoming, where it was supposed to be.  

I slowly drove up to the main house

I parked the car, and looked down at my feet.  I was standing where I hadn't been in over 25 years.

This land... wow, the things I felt.  
I walked in, put my bag on the bed, washed my face.  Grabbed my camera and headed out.  A storm was coming and I wanted to make sure I had a record of what I was seeing - these clouds, this vast open space welcoming the storm, this land so thirsty for nourishment...

The winds picked up and I was completely soaked in less than two minutes.  I stood there, letting the rain wash over me, letting the tears flow, happy to be on this land and feeling nothing but gratitude for this view

The storm passed in an instant and took with it everything it needed to take.  I walked back and sat on the porch, watching it all move from sight.  Hearing the thunder in the distance.  Complete relief.  I had gone back where everything began.

And it felt healing, this land... Finally understanding that my anger back then was only a product of frustration - I saw all of this, beautiful, vast, infinite sky and land, and I felt small, insignificant, broken and yet too young to be that damaged.  I was angry at Beauty itself.  I accepted people and circumstances that would reflect and reinforce that skewed belief that I couldn't possibly be worthy of this view every day, that all of this was not for me.  

And now I come back all this time later and see over and over how this ranch has given me the opportunity to see what the Universe has always intended for me, for you, for everyone - to see, to be surrounded by all this Grace.  Nature is Love in tangible form.  And we are all worth it.  

So, here's where I go to physically see and touch what Source gives freely.  By sharing a piece of my world, I hope I'm able to make you feel the peace that now surrounds me, because it's for you, too.